Wedding Planning & Mental Health
October 11, 2017

As many of you know I'm getting married in December (55 days!) and over the past year and a half I've become very aware of how much pressure there is on couples to have a "perfect wedding". The pressure can be a lot for anyone, but especially hard for anyone dealing with mental health issues. When I thought about writing this I was worried people would say "you're a wedding photographer, what do you know about mental health?". I'm by no means a mental health professional, but shooting 50+ weddings a year for the past 5 years has shown me some patterns and I wish that it was something that wedding vendors as a whole would talk more about. Today is World Mental Health Day - so what better day than to address a big topic.Brides & grooms have so much pressure put on them by society, friends, family, wedding magazines & blogs to have this perfect wedding that the stress and anxiety can overshadow the most important part: they're getting married.The worst part about anxiety is that it spirals. If you're feeling overwhelmed in the months leading up to the wedding and you don't do anything to take care of yourself, I promise it will come through in some way on the wedding day. I want you to look back on your day and remember how you felt - and I want that feeling to be one of joy, calm and bliss - not one of anxiousness.My heart breaks a bit when I hear couples say "okay finally we can relax" when they get to the reception. Of course the reception is going to be a ton of fun, but I can't help but wonder if the stress of finally having months of planning unfold can get in the way of the couple truly enjoying their ceremony and morning getting ready. So - as a soon-to-be bride and a photographer who's seen a lot of anxiety-ridden days, here are my tips for having the most blissful day possible and taking care of your mental health while planning a wedding.

  1. First of all, anyone who tells you that the perfect wedding doesn't exist is wrong. Every wedding is perfect. No matter the budget, any issues that arise etc. - your day will be perfect. You won't care about the rain, you won't care if the centre pieces were set up exactly as you planned - none of it will matter because you're getting married and that's perfect in and of itself.
  2. Have a wedding that suits you. Most of my couples that have overwhelming amounts of stress surrounding their wedding tell me it's because they're having a wedding that is serving their parents/friends and not what they would've planned for themselves. Have a wedding for you. If you hate attention, don't invite 300 people. If your income doesn't suit an $80,000 wedding, don't have an $80,000 wedding.
  3. Enjoy the process and remind yourself every day of your purpose: to marry your favourite person. Spend time together while you plan and remember to take time out to just enjoy being engaged. Go on date nights, do DIY projects together, plan your song list together. Picture how you want to feel on your wedding day rather than how you want the day to look.
  4. Create a plan for self-care. Exercising before your wedding isn't just so you can look great, it can be super helpful to help you feel calm and in control when things feel like they're spiralling. I also love essential oils to help ground myself. I'm going to bring an oil diffuser to diffuse my favourite calming oil on the morning of our wedding to help keep me feeling relaxed and happy as we get ready. Whether it's taking a bath or going for a walk, remember to take care of yourself.
  5. Meditate! Meditate in the months leading up, meditate on the morning of your wedding. Visualize yourself in a happy, blissful state on the day of your wedding. Visualize an issue arising and you letting it go. Visualize marrying your partner and what an amazing feeling that's going to be! If you're always focusing on the stressful parts of the day, that's what you're going to manifest. If you manifest happiness, that's how you will feel on your big day.
  6. If the amount of anxiety you're feeling becomes overwhelming don't ignore it. Lots of couples find that mental health issues come to the forefront during wedding planning. Speak to your doctor, find a counsellor and take care of yourself. This is the beginning of a long journey together, and although your wedding day may bring out a side of you that you've never seen before, it could be a great opportunity for you to deal with some things head on that you've previously pushed aside.

Wishing all of my couples the most blissful wedding day ever.Much Love,Lindsay

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